\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Clearly, they skipped you when handing out emotional intelligence. WebAustralian informal an insulting word for a person who you think is silly or stupid. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. This is because they wont keep their air of superiority and if they talk about genuine personal issues in their life, then theyre going to have to lower their guard and reveal a vulnerable side. What is the best way to respond to a condescending or patronizing person? 1. They interrupt you when you are speaking to correct things like your pronunciation or recollections. Think back to some of the condescending or patronizing words directed at you and remember how you felt when you heard them. No matter what the cause, speaking condescendingly to others is unacceptable and should be avoided at all costs. They dont see them as individuals with their own needs, feelings and desires. Because condescending people are so focused on themselves, they dont really think about what they say or how your perception of the situation might be different than theirs. As an active listener, you might respond to a condescending remark by asking them how they are or whether everything is okay. I love how you think youre being smart, its so cute. Even if everything they said was actually true, they would still judge other people who they think deserve to be placed lower than them. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is (1) recognize the fear or dislike behind these statements, and (2) walk away. Use I statements to communicate how you feel and what youre thinking. They also struggle to understand other peoples emotional distress, so they just dont know how to react. When dealing with a condescending person, it is important to remain professional and maintain your composure. Id slap you, but that could be classed as animal abuse. Spiritual awakening and anxiety: Whats the connection? Let go of any need to control the outcome. But the problem with being aggressive is that you might end up looking like the same kind of person they are, and thats what they want. Expert Interview. Be specific about how they made you feel and clear that it is unacceptable. When they act superior, let them. I'm sorry you feel so insecure about your own life. Email If a colleague or a superior is talking down to you, report them to Human Resources so the pattern of behavior can be documented and addressed. It involves making condescending remarks that belittle the other person, making them feel inferior and small. When they act superior, let them. A need to feel powerful or important can also lead to condescension. People who condescend others think they are the smartest people in the room. The less invested you are in the conversations outcome, the less you have to lose. 3. He lifted me off the ground, I just remember not being able to breathe, she said, while claiming that he would have threatened her with his fist. Document their words and list witnesses. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. (Heres How to Handle It), 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). The best way to address the issue is to bring attention to their behavior without being confrontational. If the consensus is that a certain person is hell to be around, stage an intervention. WebIs condescending an insult? Condescending behavior is a power play where the other person is trying to make you look small so they can look big. You dont owe condescending people a chance to finish their sentences or express their whole thought. They think of themselves as smarter, more attractive or more successful than others. Then again, some people talk down to you simply because, for some reason, they dont like you. Use statements such as: Stop it. They Insult Other People. If someone is talking down to you out of habit but not with meanspiritedness, it still doesnt say anything about you. This enables a condescending person to give themselves the air of superiority that they crave. A condescending person wont acknowledge a new idea unless the new idea was created by them. A testimony in two stages which has accumulated 5.8 million views on the platform. Instead, try to communicate with respect and understanding so that everyone feels included. This is the time to set clear boundaries in a calm but distinct voice and ensure the other person gets the message: Its in their best interest to respect them. If you get upset and start yelling, or retaliate in a similar fashion, theyll feel that their behavior toward you has been validated. If someone consistently makes disparaging remarks about you in front of your coworkers, calmly ask to speak with them privately. A rude and difficult person can create tension and anxiety in themselves and everyone around them. Condescending people often lack emotional intelligence, so they struggle to understand how other people are feeling or what their problems are about. Sometimes you dont want to be harsh or risk offending the person being condescending, I get it. Backhanded comments, digs, and subtle put-downs are a bullys/narcissists covert attempt at making a person feel small while making himself or herself feel big. Condescending people are, by their very nature, insulting. 3. Condescending people always put themselves first, and theyll never talk about what other people need or want. By doing this, you demonstrate that you are aware of the situation and politely ask them to change their behavior. Treating someone with condescension is the opposite of treating them with respect. Condescending people will often switch topics whenever they dont agree or understand what someone else is saying. If you try to negotiate with them, theyll try their best to make you feel inferior or like you can never get what you want. Putting other people down is a clear sign of insecurity, you know. And who wouldnt? Some people may be conditioned to be condescending by their upbringing or life experiences; for example, someone who has been put down frequently may come to believe that it is okay to talk down to others. Here you'll find all collections you've created before. Read on to learn 15 of the best responses to use when someone is condescending. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Two can play at this tangent game. 1. Condescending people might also pat you on the head to belittle you (kind of like how youd pat a child or a dog) or look down their nose at you. They ignore you or give you fake compliments to make it seem like theyre tolerant toward you, but deep down inside, all they want is to show off how smart and cool they are compared to the others. Theyll never admit when theyre wrong or accept responsibility, even if its obvious that theyve done something wrong. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. That way, they can have a conversation with your coworker and help foster communication between you two. Lachlan Brown That will just worsen the situation. Roommate Stays in Room All Day? We will take a look at why this happens and what you can do about it to end this battle. A condescending person might say something like, Well, I would agree with you, but then wed both be wrong., Say something like, Hey, what did you mean when you said that I probably wouldnt understand that joke?, Try something like, You said Id tell you this joke, but I dont think youd understand it. Do you think that Im not smart enough to get your jokes?, You might say something like, What you said was pretty condescending. Try not to lecture them; instead, just focus on setting clear boundaries. Belittling is a very unhealthy behavior, but it can start as seemingly trivial small digs and little put downs every so often. Being honest is a good idea when confronting a condescending person. 13. 11. No one wants to react harshly only to find out the person was absent-minded or distracted by grief. 9. Now the question is: how can you deal with condescending people? Theyre always looking at the world from their own perspective and they only care about their own personal needs, so they cant understand why others would be upset or offended. If you are having trouble establishing those all-important boundaries with the bad actors in your life, you should seek professional help. In short, dont try to invoke what isnt there. Speak in a respectful and assertive manner, making it clear that you expect the same courtesy in return. Stay calm and try not to lose your temper. One of the most hurtful things condescending people do is tell you how to feel. NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington and author of seven books. What a condescending coworker wants Avoid engaging in any kind of argument, as this will only aggravate the situation. Resolving the situation is dependent on your response to their transgressions. (Comebacks), How to Be the Center of Attention Without Trying (Simple Ways). It seems like theres one in every workplace. 8. Adults are speaking right now. Try to empathize with them, as this can help build rapport and understanding. Related Loads of witty comebacks for comments about your age. Id appreciate it if you didnt joke around like that again.. Other peoples achievements dont really matter to them. Your breath smells like crap from all the BS you're spewing. You can make a joke that makes the situation more light hearted. Its also not always completely obvious when someone is doing it, at least not deliberately. Now you know what to say when someone talks down to you. As weve mentioned, condescending people are insecure, so its imperative that you acknowledge their words or else theyll just get angry. If you dont want to dignify their comment with a verbal response, sometimes the best response is to walk away, whether theyre still talking or not. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. They assume they know more than you and should enlighten you. Now, this isnt the best way to handle a condescending person, but it will definitely spur some kind of action. 2. In their mind, their condescending remarks are completely normal, and their lack of emotional intelligence keeps them from seeing any other point of view. But its important that you realize that this is what theyre trying to do. It shows consideration not to call them out in front of the entire group. ), My Roommate Has No Friends! You are not obligated to be around anyone who doesnt respect you. (Tips & Things to Know! Laughter helps people relax. It might be subtle to them, but youll definitely notice it. You are really important in your own head. They feel superior to others and people dont have the courage to stand up to them.